@KKAlThani: Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test.
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@BuckyIsotope: Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him.
@BrandonEsWolf: The flight attendant keeps saying "Please stop asking for peanuts. Busses don't have flight attendants."
@KeetPotato: [exchanging xmas gifts] me: "if you dont open it you can never be disappointed can you?" schrödinger: "i feel like i brought this on myself"