@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing
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@TheToddWilliams: [candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition.
@lecalabara: Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!
@JohnLyonTweets: Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning. Facebook: Be the first person to like this.