@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing
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@robdelaney: When a celebrity tweets a whiny complaint at an airline, I vigilantly pray for them to get stranded on a runway for 72 hours.
@clindsaysway: I like to make a guy feel welcome in the morning by surrounding him with stuffed animals while he sleeps.
@Tommytoughstuff: "Not all guys wearing Flannel shirts are Lumberjacks." *hits tree with axe* " Take me for example. I just hate trees."