@TheCiscoKidder: Every video my wife has taken with her phone has me in it saying, "Are you taking a video?"
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.
@Rainbowbunee: Pretty woman, the kind that don't eat meat Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees Ohoh what can I do? She's making me eat vegan food
@Ristolable: I never made it as a firefighter. I thought arsonists were people who hated arson, so every time we met one I thanked him for his support
@realHamOnWry: Probably the worst thing about getting taken down by a pack of Hyenas would be hearing them giggle while they eat you.