@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Happy 18th birthday, millennium! Now that you’re an adult, please stop acting like an angsty teen and lashing out at us like we’re your parents.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *glares at me* My shoe doesn’t fit. Me: You grew. How is that my fault? 5: You fed me.
@MikeDrucker: 2017: It can’t get worse than this DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment
@JB4Realz: I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog.