@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
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@littlekitnerboy: Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don't see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit.
@RedemptionAJ: Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?
@brennadine: OUCH I HAVE A FOOT CRAMP You're dehydrated [Walks on toes] Drink some water [Crawls on knees] Drink water [Lays on floor] Water- [Dies]