@iAmDelFreaky: Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk.
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@PhilJamesson: WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another.
@IamEnidColeslaw: Remember when that really cute guy held the door for you at the book store? He doesn't.
@EndhooS: [Blind date] Girl: I've always had a bit of a thing for bad boys Dog: [starts putting on his coat] I don't think this is gonna work out