@Thee1_4U: Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%.
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@River_Niles: Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
@bridger_w: No love I have for someone could ever be strong enough to make me think it was appropriate to stand side-by-side with them on an escalator
@Pierre__4: If I was a girl my best friend would have to come untangle me at least twice a week because I tried to take my bra off through my sleeve
@DLin71: TRUMP: Hillary won't stand up to America's enemies. I will. *Gets into fights with Miss Universe, Gold Star family, and a baby*