@ElKnuckelhombre: Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird.
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@Book_Krazy: "It's one of those new Hoverboards!" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. "Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.
@ThaJawn: Me: Hey, I'm here for the playdate. Her: Where's your son? Me: Oh he didn't want to come, but you said Billy had Star Wars Legos so..