@ElKnuckelhombre: Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird.
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@roggyie: My wife is constantly accusing me of being racist.I dont care what she says,Im black,shes black,it should concern me that our baby is white
@NicestHippo: [high school sex ed class] *scoffs* When are we ever going to use this in real life
@iwearaonesie: me wife me wife me: I didn't know it was for you wife [covered in soda because I shook the can up when my kid asked for one]
@LoveNLunchmeat: When I was 8 yrs old, I walked to school by myself; now you have to hold your kid's hand right up to their first drug deal.