@bouncerface: Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco.
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@ilovepie84: This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the "Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen" that should confuse her for a while.
@RidiculousSheri: The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me.
@rickolantern: *buys dog organic, free-range, non-nitrate chicken treats for $7.99, buys self Big Mac