@bouncerface: Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco.
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@noneofyours99: "Yes I'm here for a conjugal visit please" Guard- name of prisoner? Me - not sure, can I go in and pick one?
@NomDeBenoit: Ouija™ board by Milton Bradley - because if anyone can bridge the gap between the living and the dead, it's the folks who brought you Hungry Hungry Hippos.
@thedad: Me as a kid: when I’m an adult I’m gonna stay up all night and eat whatever I want Me as an adult: If I don’t finish this glass of water and get to bed by 9 I will die
@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.