@Severnjaca: Everyone hates the word moist until they eat a very dry muffin.
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@Brampersandon_: [Me]: "I have hat-like reflexes" [You]: Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? [Me]: *sitting on top of your head* "Nope"
@TheQuietPsycho: *getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out
@goodhairperson: *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*