@weinerdog4life: Everyone is freaking out because I brought my own gavel to court, no one knows if I'm allowed to do this, the judge is crying
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@PellMull: Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history.
@ThisOneSayz: Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
@LostFelicia: I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too.
@seamusmckracken: The problem is, once you get the bear in a headlock, you’re going to have to let him go at some point and he’s going to be pissed.