@Huntermoore: Everyone knows if you see a white guy with dreads you punch them in the face
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@noog: World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.
@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.
@panmidwest: DOG: she keeps using heart emojis when we text DOG FRIEND: which color heart? DOG: *shows friend phone* the gray one DOG FRIEND: omg
@shadonium: Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you.