@mattZillaaaa: Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa
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@Adam_Kingsnorth: The soul weighs 21 grams. We know this because the Jurassic World film reels are 21 grams lighter than Jurassic Park
@Reverend_Scott: [hands mom flowers on Mother's day] thanks for a life of sacrifice, these cost me twenty bucks
@dihorla: I'm dreaming of getting rich like my father. Wow your dad must be a rich man. No, he too is dreaming of getting rich.
@iam__kaycee: *Dating a Jealous dude* Him: Baby, where are you? Her: I'm in the church Him: Give Jesus the phone