@mattZillaaaa: Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa
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@ilovepie84: Lassie once told me a boy fell down a well, but since no one else can speak dog I ignored it because I was building a furniture fort.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: want a grilled cheese? 6yo: no. How about a cheeseburger without the meat. Me: you got it.
@Sickayduh: "Yeah can I have a triple bacon cheeseburger..." *sees Grim Reaper in passenger seat* *sigh* "and can you put lettuce and tomato on that?"