@Token_Geezer: Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single
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@CulturedRuffian: INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS TOLD TO DO LAUNDRY: 1.Know when to hold em 2.Know when to fold em 3.Know when to walk away 4.Know when to run
@UncleDuke1969: Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote.