@Token_Geezer: Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jtrulez: Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*
@Tmoney68: Son: When did u know you were old? Me: When I started saying 'congratulations' to friends who said they were pregnant instead of 'oh shit.'
@_NTFG_: Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes.