@PantsDonkey: Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works.
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@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
@J0hnnyBlaze: 10:00pm *gets a snack* 10:01pm *turns on tv* 10:02pm *glances at twitter for 8 seconds* February
@DancesWithTamis: [The Beatles writing Here Comes The Sun] Paul: so what should come after here comes the sun? [Ringo screams from bathroom]: Doo Doo, Doo Doo