@PantsDonkey: Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works.
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@68Cly29: Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent Is a driver's Ed instructor
@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is
@stephenjmolloy: [Pilot intercom] Me: "Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."
@SteveSuckington: National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.