@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic.
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@AlexRogaski: [2 Years into Cosmetology School] Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?
@brendohare: Here's my impression of an astronomer discovering that an asteroid is coming to destroy earth: "This will make me famous but not for long"
@StellaGMaddox: My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.