@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Thynebear: [Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*
@DanMentos: "Dave just showed up" Dave the fireman or Dave who always uses inappropriate abbreviations? *Dave barges in* HEY GUYS I'M DTF "Yeah I dunno"
@WheelTod: A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing.
@causticbob: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, "Awesome, now we're both barking."