@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
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@alexqarbuckle: Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play
@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.