@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
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@Caissie: My son on the morning of his prom: "Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."
@Jake_Vig: ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION.