@WeissBrandon: Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette.
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@BobTheSuit: Me: So, what do you do for a living? Her: I flip houses. Me: You must have incredible lower back strength. Her: You're an idiot.
@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.