@WeissBrandon: Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette.
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@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
@WilliamRodgers: "Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..." *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave
@StephenBCramer: Yahoo news reports that Johnny Manziel was forced to sit in the middle seat of an airliner. I guess they should have let him fly the plane.
@ItsAndyRyan: A thief has removed all the motorway signs in Yorkshire. Police are currently trying to find Leeds.