@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
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@MikeCanRant: You have to put a potato in the microwave to push the potato button. Other things dont turn into potatoes. *brought to you by Bounty*
@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.
@UnFitz: I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names.