@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
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@Kennedydp5: I always draw track marks on my arms and cough a lot when visiting family so that no one asks me to hold their baby or help prepare food.
@BlindChow: "You're attachment is too large," my computer tells me. I blush. "My eyes are up here," I respond coyly.