@noog: Everyone’s all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman’s fighting Superman in 2016.
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@Rollinintheseat: When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit.
@SatansTongue: *Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight.
@kwkorpi: Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store.
@scottdedalus: Just thinking up snappy comebacks to painful conversations I had 22 years ago. What are YOU doing?