@noog: Everyone’s all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman’s fighting Superman in 2016.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?
@Sarcasmo718: My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper.
@JesseFernandez: Thank god attorneys let us know they're attorneys "at law" so we don't assume they're attorneys at garlic bread or something.
@lovemydogduck: Dear Santa, My ex was very naughty this year. But I was very good. So you can just send me all his presents.