@FinnMcIver: everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal
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@magicChopstick: Spider Man, Spider Man Chillin' in his camper van Kickin' back, drinkin' booze head to toe in sweet tattoos Hang on That is not Spider Man
@david8hughes: [family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock
@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *boss trying to relate to younger employees* "Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: I can't get the taste of sour balls out of my mouth Friend: I love those candies Me: Candies?