@FinnMcIver: everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal
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@GrowlyGrego: Apostrophes are important. "I fed the dog" "I f'ed the dog" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it.
@LackOfShame: 16: I hate old people. Me: That's where you and I are different. 16: You like old people?! Me: No, I hate everybody.
@AGreaterMonster: So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter.
@WilliamRodgers: "Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...