@o__0Dev: Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
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@Gooooats: Me: What's for dinner? Wife: Casserole. Me: Wrong! (hands wife forged doctor's prescription for tacos) We're eating tacos.
@AtticusFinch79: Kurt Cobain: come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be Me: in a duck costume Kurt Cobain: not like that
@NYC_Blonde: I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through.