@BlotterMonkey: Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
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@NurseMurderer: Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
@deadbearrising: Fun Fact: Koala's have finger prints like humans. So next time you rob a bank make sure the koala carriers the gun
@DPRK_News: "Halloween" is barbaric US ritual in which children earn candies by preying on the superstitions and fears of ignorant peasants.
@internetluke: [hears a baby crying on the train] Can somebody put that thing on silence please? "It's a baby.." ... "..." Vibrate?