@nathanfielder: Experiment: text your parents "got 2 grams for $40" then right after "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you" Then tweet pic of their response.
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@UNTRESOR: Date etiquette: The smaller fork is a salad fork. Use the larger fork to eat the salad fork.
@mjkspeaks: [shopping] May I help you find something? “Where are the giants?“ What? “Your sign outside says there’s a giant sale.“
@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.