@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.
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@desusnice: John Lennon got shot and died. Cam'ron got shot and drove to the hospital in a Lamborghini. Not even a contest.
@KentWGraham: All it takes is a “food dreadful, service poor” Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner.
@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
@egg_dog: facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once