@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.
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@Smooheed: Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
@TitansHomer: Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband.
@cwhudson: [Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless
@HallpassCanada: Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.