@LazyChank: Explained to my client that he shouldn't put "urgent" in the subject line of every email he sends. He now sends some as "urgent urgent".
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@Tmoney68: Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days.
@RoosterMustache: "My cat just got ran over" You cant end a sentence with a preposition "My cat just got ran over lol"
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least.