@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@moose_chocolate: I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my tweets, like William, Shatner.
@JeremyBRoberts: Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. In a nationwide poll of likely voters nearly 98% responded to the news with, "Who?"
@confusedlush: People who try to prepare for the end of the world are obviously misunderstanding the core concept.