@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.
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@AtticusFinch79: [God creating bees] GOD: make some of them fuzzy ANGEL: thats good G: make them sting A: okay G: and let's give them teeth! A: too far
@WisdomGifs: You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.
@rolldiggity: ME: "Trick or bear?" NEIGHBOR: "Bear?" ME: "HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]