@McNevich: Facebook game requests are the Jehovah's Witnesses of the Internet
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something
@jayonguitar: If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.
@DebraMuffin: The best way to run into that hot person you've been dying to talk to is to leave the house looking the worst you possibly can.