@abhorrent_wife: Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work.
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@hazelmotes1: Me: when I grow up I'm going to be an astronaut. 5 year old daughter: you're already grown up. You'll be dead soon.
@TravLeBlanc: Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis.