@abhorrent_wife: Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work.
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@MondayPajamas: Her: I think my IUD came loose and is floating around in there Me: C'mere, I drop my guitar pick in the sound hole all the time, no problem
@pinupteacher: I'm at my most pacman when I try and get to the snack table at a party without interacting with a single person.
@robfee: Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song about how great Alabama is, and the only thing they could come up with is that the sky is really blue.
@CharmandBrains: *Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now.