@Tylerosis: Facebook is where you'll find people sharing screenshots of sarcastic tweets and commenting "stupid".
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@ericsshadow: [answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me.
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@Donna_McCoy: No thanks Black Friday crowds. I do all my Christmas shopping online in a blind panic, as God intended.