@kwirkyKerri: Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted.
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@aveuaskew: " I made my famous dip for the office party" You're a regular Abe Lincoln. "But he wasn't a chef" Exactly
@DaHess1: "We heard reports that some guy saw a snowflake one time somewhere so we better cancel 5,000 flights." - Airlines
@Schmoodles: I can never remember if it's "laying" or "lying." Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he's doing one of them in the middle of the road. :(