@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
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@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
@batkaren: [after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread.