@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
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@jonnysun: so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk
@Fred_Delicious: the first rule of OCD club is that there must be a second rule so we have an even number of rules
@joeljeffrey: Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol
@kumailn: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie.