@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
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@jonnysun: nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought "how did a pigeon make $2.75"
@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@LinajkReturns: Don't you hate it when you put a freshly baked pie on the windowsill to cool and a cartoon character steals it?