@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.
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@Tups13: Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies.
@elle91: Accidentally taught my dog to play dad instead of play dead and now he won't stop barking at me when I try to touch the thermostat
@ericsshadow: Officer: is there anything in your car I should know about? Me: *remembers photo album filled with 1,000 pics of my dog* OMG YES