@MazenElZanaty: Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
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@PinkCamoTO: When Germans combine words, we get things like "flutter mouse" and "river horse." When the English do it, we get "jorts."
@Fred_Delicious: [Biden runs into the oval office] "Barack, ISIS are on the phone. They want a shipment of updog. I asked what it is but they just laughed"
@JermHimselfish: I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential.
@Rachelnoise: My decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after I die, my husband can't get laid.