@MazenElZanaty: Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
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@Sarcasticsapien: Congratulations, "journalists" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl.
@theroneman: Son, there's only one thing in life to fear. [Car full of bears with machine guns drives by] Son, there are only two things in life to fear.
@kevinseccia: Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip "Syrian Refugee 1 and 2" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
@drinksmcgee: I've decided that I'm just going to sit in my boxers and eat cereal all day. In unrelated news, my coworkers are all staring at me.