@ObscureGent: Fact: In the 80s nobody could have sex until someone started playing a saxophone.
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@jazmasta: Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever.
@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@badbanana: The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second.