@LaetPO: Fail-proof diet: cut sugar, fats, pasta, alcohol, bread and wrists.
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@PaperWash: I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice
@RuffaloShuffle: *Dad enters room dressed as Han Solo* "May divorce be with you" "What?" "Your mother and I are getting a divorce. I figured I'd make it fun"
@ranndrew: "How much do you love me?" Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know