@kiel_phillips: Failed my wasp collection exam. Got a bee.
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@MsCarlissima: To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell "YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" into my phone, then slam down the receiver.
@huntigula: fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say "I haven't decided yet" while sobbing uncontrollably
@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith