@robdelaney: Families that do Christmas card photo shoots months before Christmas have the organizational skills of high-level Nazis.
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@Midgetspar: Lets all Twittercide at the same time & not tell a Will Smith parody account, 1 dog account, & all the zombie people just to freak him out.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Historical fact: The term "bro" originated over a hundred million years ago and was short for brontosaurus.
@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.
@PaulShakeySharp: Ive just finished writing my first ever childrens novel. It's called 'We're poor because of you'.