@robdelaney: Families that do Christmas card photo shoots months before Christmas have the organizational skills of high-level Nazis.
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@Marlebean: Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!
@adamhess1: I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
@Reverend_Scott: wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing baby tiger? me filling a big bowl with frosted flakes: no idea.