We run in slow motion toward each other across an open field.
Her side is mined.
@imchriskelly: "What charities do you donate to?"
"I mostly just leave sunglasses all over the world."
@SergioValenCo: I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears.
@Rollinintheseat: *Comments on Facebook picture*
"That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."
@TrickleVaryTea: The only thing a woman wants jumping out of a cake is another cake.
@Lisabug74: Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.