We run in slow motion toward each other across an open field.
Her side is mined.
@DarzieDAMN: My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don't run into anyone you know
@SteveKoehler22: A five year old girl is headed to
the National Spelling Bee finals.
And I just had to use autocorrect
to spell "embarrassed"
I'm so emb-
@iGreenMonk: I got a new high score today.
Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale!
@samalmightysam: The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: He’s starting to stir!
Me: OH MY GOD…
Wife: Be quiet.
Me: HE’S GOT A KNIFE!
Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you.