We run in slow motion toward each other across an open field.
Her side is mined.
@Parentpains: I think it's just about time to sit my 9yr old down and give her the "Your mom is a pyscho and you're probably gonna end up one too" speech.
@vineyille: I place my finger on the police officer's lips. "Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."
@ThingsJackDigs: How to get laid:
Step 1: Be an egg
Step 2: That's literally it
@noog: Hand 2 toddlers a poisoned cookie and tell them not to eat it, then leave for a day. Some would call that stupid. The Bible calls it Genesis
@UncleDuke1969: If I had a time machine, I'd go back & mess with myself.
I'd delete and retweet frog my tweets monkey with random words giraffe inserted.