@JasonLastname: Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow
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@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@shutupmikeginn: An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car
@JhonRules: Hate when I forget to grab a towel before I shower and have to dry off by doing karate in the mirror for 3 hours