@JasonLastname: Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow
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@TheBeerGuy73: *smokes fat doobie* *enters hotdog eating contest* *sets Guinness World Record* *gets disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs*
@ashleyaustrew: I'm on the snake diet. It's the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.