@ComedicBust: Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once.
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@rolldiggity: "I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends." -Misery
@TuffyNyC: Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor.
@VeganZebra: *tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*
@theshantilly: "I'm supes scared & all alone & in my underwear. What's that noise in the basement? I should totes go check it out." - Virgins tonight