@ComedicBust: Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once.
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@envydatropic: I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car
@DannyZuker: If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
@krisv_723: Him: Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big? Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.
@BillyYvonne: Two eggs, some bacon, and a piece of toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, hey! We don't serve breakfast here. #Tellyourworstjoke