@Ms612: Fellas, if she asks you to sign life insurance policies on the way to your honeymoon, you're probably not making it out alive.
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@slimmy_shady: Scientists claim that the Big Bang was the loudest noise that has ever occured in history. They obviously haven't met my kids.
@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.