@kelkulus: Female praying mantises bite the heads off males while mating, so if your mantis boyfriend shows up without a head, he was cheating on you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dawn_M_: Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card.
@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"
@iwearaonesie: *wife walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* "Why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"