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@SanamTheLamb: Female without the vowels is 'FML'.
Need I say more?
@Dutch_50: I’ve never made eggplant before. Is it better fried or scrambled?
Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there
Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back
@hazelmotes1: I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along.
@kcmoore51: 16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone.
Me: Should we leave a key?
16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again.