@ScottLinnen: Filed a restraining order against Starbucks. Creepy. Every time I turn around, there they are.
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@CelebrityChez: How to make pasta: -Boil water. -Put what you think couldn't possibly be too much pasta in the pot. -Wrong. -Start an Italian restaurant.
@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.
@MindyFurano: my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
@pleatedjeans: [first date] girl: I bet you're really cute under those glasses [removes frames/is instantly obliterated by Cyclops' optic blast]