@ScottLinnen: Filed a restraining order against Starbucks. Creepy. Every time I turn around, there they are.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife asked me to get the house ready as her friend is sleeping here tonight so as an optimist our bed now has 3 pillows.
@Heartblakekid15: My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink.