@trevso_electric: Filming my own version of "Taken" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter.
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@ThisHotGarbage: If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
@decentbirthday: Evil villain: You can run but you can't hide! Me: That's where you're wrong pal. *out of breath* I can't do either
@liv_thatsme: You know you're old when you see the neighbor's dog chasing some punk teenagers & you root for the dog.
@SamGrittner: *job interview* "So this yearbook isn't your resume?" "No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."