@patrickmarkryan: *filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* "the leather keeps sticking to my back" "for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"
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@mrtruthandsoul: The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend
@thatUPSdude: Me: This infomercial is so stupid. *10 mins later* Me: So all I have to pay on the 2nd one is the shipping and handling?
@NicestHippo: It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency