@NotthatAdamWest: Finding Nemo 2? I swear, if that kid gets lost again Finding Nemo 3 better be where child services locks the dad up for extreme negligence.
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@parsfarce: me: thanks for the feedback. Really valuable!!! coworker: no problem! [coworker gets text at 3am] who teh fucgk do u thgink u r
@iLikeCatShirts: It's that scene from footloose where Kevin Bacon is angry dancing in the barn but it's me trying to do my taxes.
@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.
@JamesCoolie: The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare