@williamwanton: *fingers myself with giant foam Sharknado 2 finger
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@Cpin42: My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!
@Beatonm5: skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up