@williamwanton: *fingers myself with giant foam Sharknado 2 finger
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@UncleDuke1969: Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying "LOL" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)
@mewritesgood: Hey Google, if I'm searching for "herpes symptoms" then no, no I'm not "feeling lucky."
@pembdave: Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07