@williamwanton: *fingers myself with giant foam Sharknado 2 finger
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stonedcoldlazy: Considering the yr Jesus is said to have been born, I question those who give him the wheel or make him their copilot.
@CulturedRuffian: I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes.
@WhatsHerFace33: A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom.
@NicestHippo: Thinking is hard, that's why I appreciate websites telling me in advance how I will feel about the article