@Cpin42: “FINISH HIM,” I scream, as Nana takes the last bite of her gingerbread man.
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@WilliamAder: Found a YouTube channel that's just French women smoking cigarettes so this is my last tweet.
@rantingmd: googling ways to dispose of a body,mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
@Mr_Kapowski: Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning.
@rad_milk: as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water