@stevevsninjas: *fire alarm goes off at typewriter factory, causing all employees to jump up at the same time and wedge together in the doorway*
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@trevso_electric: Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?
@LizHackett: You must be radiating feminine mystique because every man in the cafe is looking at you, and then you realize there's a TV over your head.
@DurtMcHurtt: Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously.