@stevevsninjas: *fire alarm goes off at typewriter factory, causing all employees to jump up at the same time and wedge together in the doorway*
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@The_JRM: The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
@briangaar: Watching Home Alone. Did the family not have ANY friends they could call? "Yo we left our 8-year-old alone, can you get him & not call CPS?"