@stevevsninjas: *fire alarm goes off at typewriter factory, causing all employees to jump up at the same time and wedge together in the doorway*
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@jctwritesstuff: [First Date] Me: I'll just have a salad. [Second Date] Me: *on table, hunched over like four plates of nachos, hissing* My precioussss.
@AbbyHasIssues: No trip to Home Depot is complete without at least two more trips to Home Depot for what you didn't know you needed to buy the first time.