@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
@liv_thatsme: Pepsiā¢: The Coke You Have To Settle For
@daemonic3: How do you stop a rhino from charging?
You take away its USB cable.
@ceejoyner: Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime.
@KingRainhead: date: i had fun tonight
me: me too
me: *mashes mouth against one cheek & slowly drags it across their whole face*
me: that's how slugs kiss
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